Of all the rights of woman, the greatest is to be a mother― Lin Yutang
As we once again face the holidays, many protective mothers are without their precious children. The pain of having to live a life under these circumstances is unbearable.
We know because we also live it.
In times like this our grief and loss is felt three fold. Once for ourselves, once for our children and once for all the other protective mothers and children who one day found themselves in a nightmarish club of mothers in which they never wanted a membership- the Protective Mother.
In times like this we wish we could reach through our computers and give you a big warm nurturing hug. We wish we had a magic wand to wave and bring your children back. We wish we could erase the memory of the trauma and pain for both you and your children, heal you and make you whole and happy again.
If we could speak to your estranged child we would let them know how very special their mother is.
How she fought for you when she had nothing left in her to fight. How she spent years, and in some cases, decades putting her life on hold sacrificing her happiness, health and finances just to protect you from control, and abuse while keeping you safe in her arms.
Day after day dealing with attorneys, who betrayed and demeaned her, while quickly and greedily devouring her finances. Appearing in court before Judges who bullied and controlled her. Attending endless meetings with Evaluators, Therapists and Guardian Ad Litems who make her jump through impossible, and inhumane high hoops that your other parent was not forced to jump through.
Did she jump? Oh yes. Over and over and over again your protective mother twisted herself up, denied her pain , took the torture and abuse with a quiet smile on her face and a small exasperated sigh.
Lied on repeatedly , humiliated and abused your mother soldiered on, just for you- for the unstoppable, unconditional love your protective mother has for you runs deeper than anything you can ever imagine.
Isn’t this what heroes do? Heroes absorb the pain take the abuse and live the sacrifice, for the greater good. In this case , the greater good was protecting you.
We would tell these children that their mother is not just any mother, she is not just a single mother. Your mother is all that, yet so much more. Your Protective Mother is a beautiful light in this dark world, she is a warrior for truth and justice, she is an angel of love.
Yes, the greatest right for a woman is to be a mother, but for women who had this right unjustly stripped from them due to corruption, misogyny, ignorance, and greed, they had to claw , dig and sustain the deepest of wounds that may never heal from their nobel fight.Your Protective Mother was fueled by the fire of her deep love for you burning in her heart and soul. Your Protective Mother attempted to regain this right so both of you can be happy together, loving each other in peace and free from all forms of control and abuse. Your Protective Mother is not just any mother, she is a super mother -the quintessential hero.
For all the Protective Mothers this Holiday who are without their precious children, PMA International wants you to know- you have our love, respect, support and understanding – always. Here’s to a better New Year.
The PMA International Team
“Another Easter without my daughter. I miss your giggles joy, and wonder on discovering all your Easter goodies in your basket. I miss making you bunny pancakes and seeing you bite off the ear with glee as the syrup trickles down to your chest. I miss dressing you in your special Easter dress, carefully chosen by us weeks before, and braiding your hair in ribbons and bows as we get ready for church. I miss you asking to borrow a touch of my perfume as you stand tall in front of the mirror admiring the little lady you are – all dressed up on Easter morning. I miss you and our special Easter days.”
Unstoppable Mothers © 2015
#1 The most outrageous action a judge took in your family court case
“The judge gave
sole custody to
my abusive ex,
who has a history
of drug & alcohol addiction.
One Christmas morning,
he was passed out on drugs.
He’d become angry & violent
if I tried to wake him
from his stupor.
So the kids and I spent
Christmas opening up
presents without him.
We learned to act like
nothing had happened
even as our hearts
Now I spend Christmas
in supervised visitation
after raising concerns,
and trying to protect
my children from abuse.
were inspected by monitors
who took notes
about what was written
in holiday cards,
and documented our visit
as we awkwardly celebrate Christmas,
wishing we were home
and not in this awful place.”
Unstoppable Mothers © 2015